Walk into the Petaluma UPS Store, actually, probably almost any UPS Store, anywhere. Look down onto the recessed counter, the portion near the cash register where you slide your packages across to the stranger who will take your prized possessions and shepherd them to someone else, somewhere else.
What do you see?
I'll tell you what I saw and which necessitated my calling across the room to "Gabrielle" earlier this week. "Um, excuse me, can you explain this? Do you really get customers who ship $50,000 hamsters?"
What do you do with that? she must have been thinking. I would have been thinking as much. Not exactly your standard customer request, such as: "Do you do Next Day?" (Yes.) "Is there a packing charge if I buy the box?" (Yes, but you don't pay by the styrofoam peanuts.) "Can I ship nuclear warheads, if they're disarmed?" (No.)
So she comes out from the end of the packing area, comes up to me from the other side of the counter, and looks down toward where I'm pointing. There, glued down to the surface, is a mosaic of all manner of inanimate objects (fireworks, petrochemicals, aerosols) and animalia (Scottish Terriers, Tarantulas, and yes, hamsters; actually, the hamster was standing on the Terrier's head) that you cannot ship. And below the clip art assemblage? A line of text reading: "No unusual pets or objects over $50,001."
The UPS worker assured me she hadn't noticed the warning before. A case of hiding in plain sight, no doubt. I mean, considering how many parcels, stuffed envelopes, and large cartons she accepts over that surface.
On the way out, I turned to her and said, "By the way, if anyone reports finding a $50,000 hamster, call me. It's mine."
About Me
- Edward It (but you can call him 'Ed')
- Petaluma, CA, United States
- A professional Developmental Editor of more years than he would prefer to consider, Edward It (but you can call him 'Ed') of Northern California based CREDIT THE EDIT (credittheedit.com) works with new authors on their fiction and non fiction projects with a specialty in character driven and plot driven novels, historical fiction, mysteries, memoirs, sci fi/sci fantasy, self-help, and children's literature. He shies away from textbooks, business books, How To's, and, because he has so much of it in his current life, romance. Of course, if a gritty romance pops up, he's more than willing to engage it and edit it for clarity, consistency, and in ways that guarantee no one gets hurt. Speaking of relationships, when Ed takes on a new client, the editor-client dynamic is very much collaborative. Most projects pass through three draft stages (A w/ Edits; B w/ Edits; and C w/ Edits a.k.a. 'Final for Release'). Ed conducts a complementary 'Test Edit' on any five pages from the client's manuscript to determine how much editing the project will require. Send him a sample (EdIt (at) credittheedit.com). No guarantees he'll take you on but if he does, prepare for one helluva ride.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Post away, but please abide by most of the rules of grammar, syntax, spelling, and punctuation, and please be nice. Nice is good. Grammar is good. So is good grammar. Ed thanks you for commenting on his blog. Your input and observations are helpful for maintaining healthy literary discourse and other good stuff. Ed invites you to visit CREDIT THE EDIT (www.credittheedit.com) to professionally cover all of your editorial needs. Request a complementary Test Edit on up to five pages from your latest fiction or nonfiction book manuscript, feature story, or article. Send it over right away: EdIt@credittheedit.com.