A revisit to the UPS Store...

     Sometime last week, I walked into the UPS Store to pick up my latest batch of mail. The cheery young girl who works behind the desk gave me the latest update on everything strange and shipping (you'll recall that the last time we connected, she was a bit taken aback by my observation that, according to a Do's and Don't's poster affixed to the area of her counter near the register, you apparently cannot ship $50,000 hamsters. Who knew?).

     Today, she was recounting the incident involving the man who had dropped off a "small strange package" a few days prior. 

     "I asked him if it contained anything live. He assured me, 'No,' then he paid for it, and hurried out.  I noticed that the flaps were not taped down very well; there were gaps..."

     "As if to allow something to breathe?" I proposed.

     "Yes! Exactly.  So I shook it a little and heard something scratching inside..."

    "Oh no," I responded, prepared for the best of the worst. "And so you opened it?"

     "Yes! And guess what was inside..."

     "A small zebra in need of a manicure?"

     "Nope.  About twelve small tortoises."

     "Um," I offered, "perhaps they were Box turtles."

Also overheard at the Petaluma, California Starbuck's

Some late 40-something female energetically barking into her cell phone, while seated near the picture window:

"Hello. Yesterday, I ordered fish oil tablets....yes...yes, that's right.  So I opened them and they're like -- horse tablets.  Yes, horse tablets.  I can't possibly swallow them.  They're too big.  Will you take them back?  You will?  Oh good!"

I'm thinking that perhaps they were seahorse extract.

Overheard at the Petaluma, California Starbuck's

First man (wearing skullcap and dressed all in black):  So what are your goals in life?

Second man (wearing thick glasses and looking a little geeky, while sitting on the edge of his seat in wild anticipation):  Wow. I'd like to be a motivational speaker.  But I have to get my own act together first.